Make me perfect

It all started when I asked one of my guy friends (who was anorexic) how does that feel and how do you hide if from your family. He told me that I shouldn’t do this and that he is not giving me tips. He hugged me and told me that I am beautiful the way I am. While we were hugging I could feel his body… so… thin. Then my (male) bestfriend hugged me and asked me how was I. I told him that I was not ok and started crying on his shoulder. He held me tight and told me we need to talk, but I didn’t talk to him about this in that moment because I could tell he was very busy… he’s gonna graduate this year (in two months). Then one of my friends saw me and hugged me, asked me if I was ok and of course I answered “no”. There was only silence between us (she knows the whole thing), I could feel her heart beating so fast and so hard… when I let her go she was crying too! I wonder what that awesome smile I see everyday hides… like mine. She’s very thin though… might she have an eating disorder? Well… I don’t know. All I know is that I had a lot of breakdowns today. OH! And my father was so gentle with me today… I wonder if he feels guilty for what he did last weekend. He should!

Tuesday was great! My bestfriend and I were standing all day long, walking and running around the school. This week is very important and we are part of the staff :D We were talking and guess what! She “stopped” eating on Monday. So now we are both water fasting which is great because I always have her support. Yesterday my friend, who was anorexic (Danny), gave me a little piece of bread, he knew I was (STILL AM!) starving. When I was about to eat it Ana, my bestfriend (that’s her name, I swear! Isn’t that cool huh?) went into my classroom and yelled at me. Well… I didn’t eat it and she made me drink plenty of water.
PS: she told me that standing burns calories. Is that true?

Today was this huge presentation at school and when I got dressed with the white and black clothes I looked myself in the mirror… I didn’t know I am THAT fat! So I’m gonna do a lot of exercise now!

I have been eating and don’t know why the freaking hell!!!!! Or is it that I have got used to skip breakfast and lunch at school? hmmmm Well I don’t know but I AM FAT! Hell no girls! I’m not going to let you down! Dear stupid food, you’re not winning this war! SAY YES TO THE SKINNY BODY YOU WANT!
Love you all girls!

I just woke up and guess what! My mom is still here! :/ I guess I’ll have to take breakfast. When I get home after school I’m gonna run and jump until I fall and I don’t freaking care if I sweat because I have to get used to it, I have to get used to exercise. I hate to sweat though… I don’t know… I’ll do this for Ana, for me and for every single anorexic in this world.

So the kids in Africa are not eating? NEITHER AM I! Are they starving? Well… then I’m starving too! It’s not fair… go on and think what you want. I’m starting a riot here.

Yey! :D
So… I decided to do something different this week and maybe, just maybe, I’ll keep doing it if you like it :)
Each day of the week will have a theme (?) like today: Friendspiration Sunday!
•Friendspiration Sunday: I’ll show you pictures of some of my friends that I see as thinspiration! And of course I’ll tell you something about them :)
LET US BEGIN :D